As wedding planners who've been lucky enough to witness hundreds of joyful, moving, and magical celebrations, we can tell you one truth: couples remember how they felt on their wedding day. That feeling is shaped not just by the décor or the playlist, but by the energy their guests bring to the event.
There’s no one “right” way to attend a wedding — every couple and every celebration is unique — but there are a few small actions that can make a big difference in keeping the day smooth, joyful, and low-stress for everyone involved.
Here are 10 friendly reminders that will earn you your spot in the Wedding Guest Hall of Fame:
RSVP as soon as you can, using the method requested (online or mail) and double-check the details. Ensure you include a meal choice or correct guest name spelling. It’s one of the simplest ways to support the couple before the big day even begins.
Before reaching out to the couple with questions, take a good look at the wedding website. Couples put real time and thought into crafting it — it’s often your best source for everything from what to wear to where to park to things to do around the city the wedding is in.
Chances are, any info you’re wondering about — like ceremony time, transportation, or whether your kids can tag along — is already covered. Oftentimes couples also include the best way to contact them with any additional questions!
If your invitation doesn’t include a plus-one or your children’s names, that wasn’t an oversight — it was a decision based on space, budget, or venue limitations. Please don’t bring extra guests unless you’ve cleared it with the couple first. Respecting that boundary means less stress for everyone involved.
When in doubt, do a quick Google search of the venue and the dress code listed on the invite or website. A backyard wedding in July looks very different from a candlelit ballroom event — and both deserve effort and respect.
Remember: dressing the part isn’t about being fancy; it’s about showing the couple you care enough to honor the tone they’ve set!
Not an hour early. Not right as the music starts.
Most venues open for guest arrival about half an hour before the ceremony — and arriving in that window gives the couple, the staff, and other vendors the time they need to set the scene. Showing up too early can mean walking into final setup or private moments. Showing up late… well, no one wants to be that guest walking in mid-vows.
Taking a quick photo is totally fine — but try to avoid filming the entire ceremony, stepping into the aisle, or accidentally blocking the professional photographer’s view. If the couple has asked for an unplugged ceremony, follow that request with grace. Being fully present is one of the best gifts you can give.
If you're excited to post a cute moment from the day — awesome! But check to see if the couple has posted first or mentioned any requests about privacy. Not everyone wants their first kiss as newlyweds online before they've had a chance to share it themselves.
No one expects perfection from guests. But a spirit of flexibility and kindness — rolling with seating plans, smiling through a quick rain delay, hitting the dance floor when it opens — makes you a star in any couple’s memory.
It’s okay to be confused for a second or not love the dinner option. What matters most is sharing in the joy and offering grace along the way.
Things come up — we get it. If you’re unable to attend, especially close to the wedding day, a quick and kind message to the couple or their planner/coordinator is incredibly helpful. A no-show without notice can throw off things like food counts and seating arrangements.
Weddings often follow a carefully planned timeline — from when dinner is served to when toasts begin or the cake is cut. If a coordinator or DJ is nudging guests to move from cocktails to dinner, or to take their seats for speeches, it's to help the day unfold smoothly.
Go with the flow, even if it means pausing a conversation or moving away from the bar. When guests cooperate with the pacing of the day, it keeps things running beautifully and helps the couple (and vendors!) avoid unnecessary stress.
Being a good wedding guest doesn’t require a degree in etiquette or a designer outfit. It’s about showing up with intention, a little curiosity, and a lot of heart. Couples remember the people who made them feel supported and celebrated — and that’s a gift you can give just by being present and thoughtful.
Thanks for helping make each wedding day as magical as it can be — we (planners, couples, and vendors alike!) notice and appreciate you more than you know!